INTRODUCTION
In May 1999, a High
Court judge issued a court order to prevent Anita, a
17-year-old English Sikh, being married off to a
Sikh in the Punjab. With the aid of Interpol and the
Indian authorities, the UK's Mr Justice Singer
ensured that Anita was brought back to England
before her eighteenth birthday so that she could be
made a ward of court.
A young Punjabi girl,
born and brought up in England, was sent to India by
her parents after she declared that she wanted to
marry an English man, her colleague - a constable in
county police. Her parents neither opposed the
proposal nor gave their assent to it, but quietly
persuaded her to visit India for some time. When the
unsuspecting girl arrived at her ancestral home in
Garhshankar, she was forcibly detained there and an
attempt was made to marry her off to a Punjabi boy
of her community.
Forced marriage
fears in Punjab
Massive migration from areas of Punjab has led to
forced marriages
For 21-year-old Sikh woman Rupneet Kaur (not her
real name), the New Year finally brought some hope.
On 5 January, a two-member team from the British
High Commission in Delhi - with the help of the
district administration - recovered Miss Kaur from
the house of her maternal uncle in a Punjab village
in Nawanshahar district.
Forced marriages have been a major talking
point in recent times and much has been done to stem
this oppressive tide. Admittedly this problem exists
in the Muslim community; however, it is endemic only
amongst those Muslims who have chosen to contravene
the clear edicts stipulated in the Holy Islamic Law
(Shari'ah). Such a practice cannot be justified in
any shape or form since a clear prohibition of this
disgusting practice can be found in the revelatory
scriptures of Islaam.
The question is: Can
the same be said of Sikhi scripture?
ISLAMIC FORBIDDANCE OF
FORCED MARRIAGES
Allaah says in the
Qur'an:
"O you who
believe! You are forbidden to inherit women against
their will. Nor should you treat them with
harshness, that you may take away part of the dowry
you have given them - except when they have become
guilty of open lewdness. On the contrary live with
them on a footing of kindness and equity. If you
take a dislike to them, it may be that you dislike
something and Allaah will bring about through it a
great deal of good." (Qur'an 4:19)
Commenting on this
verse, the commentator Ibn Katheer wrote:
"That is, have kind
speech for them; deal with them with kind deeds and
in a beautiful manner to the best of your
ability. In the way that you love that from them,
behave in that way towards them. As Allaah has said,
"They have rights similar to those upon them
according to what is right." (Qur'an
2:228) The Messenger of Allah said: "The best
of you is the best of you to his wives and I am
the best of you to my wife." It was from his
behaviour that he would treat them in a beautiful
fashion, with a smiling face. He would sport with
his wives, be gentle with them and spend generously
upon them. He would laugh with his wives and he even
raced 'A'ishah...Every night, he would gather his
wives together in the house of the one with whom he
was going to spend the night and eat dinner with
them on occasion...After he prayed the night prayer,
he would enter his house and talk to his wife a
little bit before sleeping, making them comforted
thereby. And Allaah has said: "You have in the
Messenger of Allah the best example."
(Qur'an 33:21)
Indeed the Muslim who
fears His Lord above and hopes for His Mercy is
continuously mindful of the following Prophetic
tradition:
Ma'qil ibn Yassaar said:
I heard the Prophet (blessings of Allaah be upon
him) say: "There is no person to whom Allaah has
given people to take care of, and he fails to take
care of them properly, except that he will not
smell the fragrance of Paradise." (Al-Bukhaari
and Muslim)
Abu Hurairah said: "The
Messenger of Allaah ordered: 'Be kind [with the
COMMAND VERB: 'Be Kind'] to women.'" (Ibid)
"The most perfect
believers are the best in character, and the best of
you are the kindest to their families."
Hence, the parents must
take care of their children and give them their
rights, as legislated by their Creator, in order to
avoid the threat of punishment.
On the authority of Al-Miqdaam
ibn Ma'dee, the Prophet (blessings of Allaah be upon
him) stood in front of the people and said: "Verily
Allaah commands you to be good to women.
Verily Allaah commands you to be good to
women. Verily Allaah commands you to be good to
women[repeating it three times],
for certainly they are your mothers,
daughters, and aunts, and indeed a man from the
people of the Book (Jews and Christians) will marry
a poor young woman and neither one of them will
desire to leave (divorce) the other until they die
of old age."
The Prophet Muhammad
(blessings of Allaah be upon him) in many traditions
emphasised the importance of good conduct and
treatment towards daughters:
"He who is involved
in bringing up daughters, and accords benevolent
treatment towards them, they will be a protection
for him against Hell-Fire." (Al-Bukhaari &
Muslim)
"Whoever maintains
two girls till they attain maturity, he and I will
come on the Resurrection Day like this; and he
joined his fingers together." (Muslim)
"He who has a
daughter and he does not bury her alive, humiliate
[insult or degrade] her and does not give preference
to his son over her, such a person will be
granted entry to Paradise by Allaah."
Ibn 'Abbaas transmitted
that the Prophet said: "A Muslim who has two
daughters whom he treats well when they
accompany him or when he accompanies them is
admitted to Paradise."
On the authority of Abu
Huraira: "The Prophet said: 'Whoever had three
daughters and showed patience in their keeping,
their pleasure and displeasure, Allah admits him to
Paradise for his mercy over them. A man asked, 'And
what about two daughters, O Messenger of Allaah? He
said: 'And two daughters as well." Another asked: 'O
Messenger of Allah, what about one daughter?" He
said: 'And one daughter as well."
"Be just and fair to
your children; be just and fair to your children; be
just and fair to your children, (repeating it thrice
- see footnote
)."
(Al-Bukhaari & Muslim)
From the aspects of
rights that children are afforded, from the absolute
Justice and Fairness of Allaah, is that it is
absolutely impermissible to force women into
marriage. The Prophet said:
"The widow and the
divorced woman shall not be married until
their order is obtained, and the virgin
shall not be married until her consent is
obtained." (Al-Bukhaari)
"Once a virgin girl
came to the Prophet and said that her father had
married her to a man against her wishes. The
Prophet gave her the right to repudiate the marriage."
(Sunan Abu Dawood)
Significantly, Imaam al-Bukhaari
entitled a chapter from his Saheeh collection:
"When a man gives his
daughter in marriage and she dislikes it, the
marriage shall be annulled."
Many societies enforce
the idea that a widow was not allowed to marry but
to stay single. Allaah in Islaam gave divorced
women freedom to contract another marriage. Allaah
says:
"And when you
divorce women, and they have come to the end of
their waiting period, hinder them not from marrying
other men if they have agreed with each other in
a fair manner." (Qur'an 2:232)
With regard to widows,
Allaah says:
"And if any of you
die and leave behind wives, they bequeath thereby to
their widows (the right to) one year's maintenance
without their being obliged to leave (their
husband's home), but if they leave (the residence)
of their own accord, there is no blame on you for
what they do with themselves in a lawful manner."
(Qur'an 2:234)
Furthermore, the Prophet
Muhammad clearly stipulated that a forced marriage
is in fact null and void:
Narrated Ibn 'Abbaas: "Barira's
husband was a slave called Mughith, as if I am
seeing him now, going behind Barira and weeping with
his tears flowing down his beard. The Prophet said
to 'Abbaas, "O 'Abbaas! Are you not astonished at
the love of Mughith for Barira and the hatred of
Barira for Mughith?" The Prophet then said to Barira,
"Why don't you return to him?" She said, "O
Messenger of Allaah! Do you order me to do so?"
He said, "No! I only intercede for him."
She said, "I am not in need of him." (Al-Bukhaari)
In a further tradition,
it was narrated:
Khansa Bint Khidam said:
"My father married me to his nephew, and I did
not like this match, so I complained to the
Messenger of Allaah (blessings of Allaah be upon
him). He said to me: "Accept what your father has
arranged." I said: "I do not wish to accept what my
father has arranged."
He said: "Then this marriage is invalid, go
and marry whomever you wish." I said: "I
have accepted what my father has arranged, but
I wanted women to know that fathers have no right in
their daughter's matters (i.e. they have no
right to force a marriage on them)."
This is how clear Islaam
is in relation to details of life that must be
apparent for humankind to sustain the balance in
life, which will uphold the highest level of moral
standards - a guidance from the all-Wise and
Merciful Creator.
As a side note, Islaam
also went as far as to prohibit two suitors from
competing against each other for the hand of a
woman. The Prophet disapproved of two persons
competing with one another to secure marriage with
the same woman. This is because such a situation is
likely to develop bitter enmity between two Muslim
brothers, which is forbidden in Islaam due to the
emphasis of brotherhood/ sisterhood. The Prophet
said:
"A believer is a
brother of a believer. Hence it is not lawful for
him to bargain upon the bargain of a brother, nor
propose for (the hand of a girl) after the marriage
proposal of his brother, until the latter
(voluntarily) withdraws the proposal." (Saheeh)
SRI GURU GRANTH SAHIB
SOLUTION?
In comparison, however,
our contention is that Sikhism's Holy Scripture -
Sri Guru Granth Sahib - has absolutely no clear
proclamation prohibiting forced marriages. We assert
that out of the ten Gurus who presided over their
people; were engaged and cognisant of the cultural
practices of Hindustan between 1469 CE to 1708CE
(239 years), not one recorded an unequivocal,
unambiguous prohibition to this practice. The
question is:
Why?
It is inconceivable to
imagine these erudite men; leaders of thousands;
role models for generations, unaware of this social
disease being practiced in their midst. Hence, it is
safe to assume they knew; but yet they chose to
remain silent:
Why?
What was the mission of
the true Messengers of God?
Is this mission
consistent with what the 10 Gurus did?
We say: No!
Thus, we ask the question:
Where are these
revolutionary rights of women in Sikhism so often
lauded as a substitute to Islaam?
If this right is absent
in a divinely proclaimed scripture, are we to assume
the Most Merciful Creator considered this subject
unimportant?
"But if they
answer you not, then know that they only follow
their own lusts. And who is more astray than one who
follows his own lusts, without guidance from Allaah?
Verily, Allaah guides not the people who are
evil-doers." (Qur'an 28:50)
It is for this reason
that Sikhs were forced centuries after the death of
their last Guru - Gobind Singh - to desperately
formulate
Rehat Maryadas
to solve the shortcomings in their world view, such
as the following:
Anand Sanskar (Lit.
Joyful Ceremonial: Sikh Matrimonial Conventions and
Ceremony)
Article XVIII
(a) A Sikh man and woman should enter wedlock
without giving thought to the prospective spouse's
caste and descent.
(b) A Sikh's daughter must be married to a Sikh.
However, we pose the
question:
What did the Gurus
say in relation to forced marriages during their
time before these laws were drawn up? Further, what
did the Sikhs do between the period marking the end
of Guruship and the formulation of these laws?
It is clear that this
problem remains in Sikhism.
Let us take the following scenario:
A father lures his
daughter back to his homeland in an attempt to
coerce her through blackmail and threats to marry a
man she has no desire to marry. Now, if a Sikh
attempted to dissuade the father from such subtle
coercion, let alone the more apparent forms, and
used indirect proofs from the Adi Granth,
such as, verses stipulating the impermissibility of
using force and oppression, or what Guru Amar Das
said: "dhhan pir eaehi n aakheean behan
eikat(h)ae hoe
eaek joth dhue moorathee dhhan pir keheeai soe
They are not said to be husband and wife, who
merely sit together.
They alone are called husband and wife, who have one
light in two bodies";
the father could quite easily turn around and say
that he is in the best position to decide his
daughter's future, thereby interpreting away the
indirect proofs in order to justify his actions.
However, if a proof existed where a non-consensual
marriage would be null and void with a declaration
that forcing daughters into marriage was forbidden,
such a predicament could never arise.
Hence, unlike the
Muslims who can turn to clear, unequivocal,
unambiguous proofs from their Holy Scripture to
emphatically condemn this oppression, the Sikhs,
alas, cannot.
